Playing Favourites. Films…
While scrolling down my Facebook newsfeed yesterday, I came across a post which said simply,
“What’s your favourite film??”
I mean, I must have a favourite film, right? I LOVE films, always have.
But how do you choose a favourite? They’re all so different, it’s almost impossible to compare them.
After establishing that I was going to pick three, and that I may, even then, change my mind in ten minutes, I picked Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Blade Runner. and of course, I had to have some Lynch in there, so I picked Blue Velvet
Now I challenge anyone to compare Blake Edwards’ 1961 sanitized but brilliant adaptation of Truman Capote’s book about high class call girl Holly Golightly with either David Lynch’s Freak Noir or Ridley Scott’s extraordinary dystopian recreation of Phillip K. Dick’s Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep.
It just can’t be done.
Could you even imagine the fun David Lynch would have with Breakfast at Tiffany’s?
That “Cat” that Audrey Hepburn’s Holly is so fond of would have been eviscerated and reanimated before the second reel was over.
And as for the defilement of the gorgeous Miss Hepburn, as Dorothy, at the hands of Dennis Hopper’s deranged Uncle Frank, it’s not something that bears thinking about.
Can’t really see Rutger Hauer as Holly’s admirer, Paul Varjak, in Tiffany’s either, he’d have just shot the pervy Japanese soft porn sleazebag at the beginning and they’d both have had to go on the run with the Cat.
Maybe with Hollywood’s penchant for remakes and “reimaginings” of classic, and just plain old, films, they could come up with some sort of hybrid.
I don’t know, how about;
A young cybernetic call girl is walking home from a hard day at work, when she comes across a cat’s ear. She discovers that the ear is part of a murky underground murder plot involving dwarves, diplomats, Japanese soft core pornographers and nitrous oxide and has to have sex with Kyle MacLachlan in order to find out if he, too is a robot. Or is he?
What do you think, we could call it
“Do Call Girls Dream of Velvet Blades at Breakfast”
Hey, I think we might be onto something here…