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Ho’s Christmas ho ho ho post…

Every year, some of my most popular posts are the ones for which Ho creates the seasonal artwork.

Ho, my old friend and consummate blog-toonist in residence has provided festive illustrations and Diary of an Internet Nobody Christmas cards for the last few years, but this year he’s outdone himself with a fantastic do it yourself Christmas tree decoration. I’ll pass you over to the artist himself for the all-important instructions.

Ladies and gentlemen, here’s Ho:

” Step One – Print out the image at approximately A4 size. (If you don’t have a printer, visit a library or someone bored in an office). There is a nice colourful version, or a black and white one so you can have fun colouring in the Trump-fairy yourself.

Step Two – With scissors, carefully cut around the outline of the main shape and the Trump-fairy’s head. You may want to ask an adult to help you with this. Do NOT cut the Trump-fairy’s throat, however tempting this may be.

Step Three – Cut along the dotted lines and fold around so that the slits interlock.

Step Four – Fold back the Trump-fairy’s wing sections at the half-way point, to make them nice and flappy.

Step Five – Cut out the Trump-fairy’s hat, cut a slit at the dotted line, and pop it on his head.

Step Six – Impale the Trump-fairy through the arse (or hang) on the top of your Xmas tree. Hey Presto ! Your Xmas Trump-fairy Tree Decoration is finished.

Why not send us photos of your impaled / hung Trump-fairy, we’d love to see them.

{Should you, for some strange reason, not wish to display a Trump-fairy on your Xmas tree, they also make excellent (if brief) candles. You will therefore be carrying on the grand tradition, initiated by a legion of students, of ‘lighting your own Trump’.}

A Ho-made festive product, you’re welcome. Happy Solstice   xx “

**********
Thank you, Ho, for that stroke of creative genius, I look forward to seeing you again soon. I’m sure I join with all my readers in wishing you a very merry Christmas and a happy new year.

 
6 Comments

Posted by on December 21, 2016 in Arts, Ho., Humour

 

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#atozchallenge: J is for Jingoism…

#atozchallenge: J is for Jingoism…

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I’m aware that a large percentage of my readers are American, (although I’ve never really understood why that is) so I have had plenty of time to gauge attitudes to this particular subject, both on here and on Facebook, where I also have many American friends.

That is why I must qualify this edition of the A-Z challenge and point out, right from the start; that I know perfectly well this post doesn’t apply to the vast majority of you, or even (I hope) to the vast majority of America in general, which makes the whole thing all the more amazing.

Yes, you guessed it, this is another post about the extraordinary phenomenon that is the man they call The Donald, amongst many other, less complimentary names.

I know that I’ve made my views on the self-parodying psychotic orange clown clear in the past and I certainly haven’t changed my opinion since I last mentioned him, but he is becoming so ubiquitous in the media now, it’s almost impossible to go a whole day without at least one or two blobs of his verbal sewerage oozing into our consciousness.
And nobody seems to be capable of telling him that he sounds like a fucking idiot most of the time, that’s what I don’t get.

Ok, admittedly, we aren’t overburdened with scrupulously ethical and morally spotless politicians in the UK; there is currently a scandal involving the shady dealings of our prime minister and his tax affairs (never mind the fact that this is a man who stuck his dick in a dead pig) but even so, that pales into insignificance when compared to Fuckface von Clownstick and his campaign to become the leader of the free world.

I can’t comment on how the presidential race is covered by the American media in America, but I do see a fair amount of U.S. coverage online and there don’t seem to be many journalists, commentators or pundits (other than the laughable Fox “News” and the frankly odious Ann Coulter) who take The Great Drumpf seriously, but maybe that’s just wishful thinking.

Perhaps there are millions of your countrymen (and, unlikely as it may seem, women) who think that any of your leaders could have reached office by making ignorantly sweeping, racist pronouncements, threatening to deport whole sections of society, building walls and bragging about the size of their sex organs on television debates, but I somehow doubt it.
Can you even imagine the incandescent fury that would have resulted if Obama had said half the things this dangerous power junkie has glibly spouted in the name of self-aggrandizement?
It doesn’t bear thinking about.

He seems so utterly convinced that everyone loves him, too, that’s the most incredible thing.
He stands there on his podium, posturing and pontificating, saying nothing of any substance whatsoever, then presumably wonders why the press mercilessly take the piss out of him.

Here’s a speech he made in Albany just yesterday; I’d be deeply impressed if you can detect even the most rudimentary political nuance or hint of a policy from this unhinged helping megalomaniacal word salad:

“You are going to be so proud of your country. Because we’re gonna turn it around, and we’re gonna start winning again! We’re gonna win so much! We’re going to win at every level. We’re going to win economically. We’re going to win with the economy. We’re gonna win with military. We’re gonna win with healthcare and for our veterans. We’re gonna with every single facet.

We’re gonna win so much, you may even get tired of winning. And you’ll say, “Please, please. It’s too much winning. We can’t take it anymore. Mr. President, it’s too much.”
And I’ll say, “No, it isn’t!”

We have to keep winning We have to win more! We’re gonna win more. We’re gonna win so much. I love you, Albany! Get out and vote. You will be so happy. I love you. Thank you. Thank you!”

Well, he’s convinced he’s going to win, that’s for sure.
But what is the prize, that’s the question?
A country divided by hate and paranoia seems to be the obvious answer to that.

Over here, we sit and watch the news with open-mouthed astonishment, not sure whether to laugh hysterically or hide in the basement until it’s all over, because the only alternative to this all being one huge joke is just too frightening to contemplate.
If there is any justice at all, Barack Obama will eventually be seen by history as one of the truly great American presidents, it would be a shame to tear down all that he has achieved, just because it seemed like a bit of a laugh to vote for someone who can play the jingoism game on television and has a mildly amusing wig.

Whether there are enough people dumb enough to seriously consider voting for this out of control snake oil salesman, remains to be seen, but if they do and he actually wins, we’re all going to be worse off, that’s for certain.

#atozchallenge

 
16 Comments

Posted by on April 12, 2016 in A - Z challenge, Social comment

 

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Trump (reblogged from Linda G Hill)…

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Anyone who has been following me for a while probably has a pretty fair idea about my opinion of Donald “Fuckface von Clownstick” Trump and although I have no real wish to grant him the oxygen of publicity in any but the most scathing and derisive way, some other bloggers take a more mature approach. (Which we’ll get to in a minute; the photo is one of mine)

As a British citizen, I am fortunate enough to be sufficiently removed from the unhinged wig womble, that his imminent elevation to the most powerful powerful man on Earth (think about that for a moment; The most powerful man ON EARTH) will not immediately or directly impact on my life. But as we all know (after all, you’re probably reading this thousands of miles away from where I sit typing) the modern world is an increasingly small place and, no matter where we live, global events are now just that; Global.
We should all worry that a man who is so obviously driven by self-interest and an amoral thirst for personal power is so close to being the representative of one of the most influential nations on the planet and that makes it all of our responsibilities to call upon those who have the ability to prevent that from happening, to do so for the good of us all.

One heartfelt and straightforward reiteration of this, my not very humble opinion, was just posted by one of the most popular, generous and genuine people that I’ve met since I started blogging on WordPress and I’m pleased to reblog her post here.

Ladies and gentlemen, Linda G Hill…

I feel nauseous just typing the name. But I’ve stayed quiet long enough. I find I have no choice but to speak out. Why, you ask? I realize the chances of changing the mind of anyone who is determined to put him in office is slim to none. But there are people out there whose voices might be heard. My ultimate plea is to those who can make a difference. Also, I feel by not saying anything, my silence in a way condones the possibility that my children and grandchildren will live in a far less free world than I have enjoyed.

I am Canadian. Let’s get that out of the way right now. I have no say in who becomes President of the United States. That is up to the conscience of the society south of my home’s border. But the fact is, the fateful decision to elect this…

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