A simple post, but powerful and full of emotion; say hello to Josh Wrenn and his Friday blog…
Tag Archives: writing
Audrey talks in her sleep all the time, occasionally having what sound like entire conversations; we often hear her chattering away for five or ten minutes at a time, leaving pauses for what we assume to be answers from her imaginary nocturnal companions.
But it seems as if we may have been mistaken, at least as far as Audrey’s awareness of events is concerned, anyway.
She had been mumbling away quite happily to herself, prior to waking up the other morning, when Rhonda went in to get her up for school and have a quick snuggle. Thinking that she was addressing her, Rhonda responded to one of Audrey’s questions, waking her up in the process. She looked at Rhonda without any obvious surprise and said;
“Oh, I knew I was awake, when I talk in my sleep, nobody answers.”
Whilst I wait for a flash of inspiration to provide me with a new format for my weekly one liners, today I’m going to go with a direct quote, followed by a slightly altered advertising slogan to go with it (apologies if the second part makes no sense to non-British readers);
“Wait a minute, so if I take hairspray and I spray it in my apartment, which is all sealed, you’re telling me that affects the ozone layer?” “Yes.” I say, “No way, folks. No way!”
– Donald “the science guy” Trump, West Virginia, 05/05/16.
“The future is dim, the future is orange.”
The cryptic concatenation of pithy proverbs can throw up some sound advice and, with Easter coming up, there can be none sounder than; “Don’t throw eggs”, although the flip side of that pairing is; “Don’t teach your grandmother to suck the baby out with the bath water.”
Wise words, indeed.
Following on from last week’s composite proverb, another combination of aphoristic axioms springs to mind:
“Faith can move mountains, so if the mountain won’t come to Mohammed, someone needs to have more faith, that’s all I’m saying.”
Today is World Book Day, a fact I was made aware of by Audrey, who went to school dressed as a witch, (her class are all being Harry Potter characters for the day) as part of the global celebration of all things literary.
Obviously I’m going to cynically use this as an excuse to promote Stories In Green Ink, the anthology containing my first published works of short fiction (written as Guy Thair)…
…ahead of the second collection featuring another one of my stories, which should be out later this month.
But I’m also going to take the opportunity to recommend a few of my (possibly rather predictable) all time favourite book series, starting with one that is soon to make its long-awaited appearance at the movies.
Stephen King’s Dark Tower series is an extraordinarily ambitious and groundbreaking epic that defies classification.
It takes a classic western theme and mixes it with elements of thriller, mystery, fantasy, horror and sci-fi, resulting in a deeply satisfying and unique tale that takes the reader on a thrilling journey that manages to combine our world and that of the anti-hero, Roland, the last Gunslinger in a way that is natural and seamless.
Many people have told me they hadn’t read the books “because I don’t like horror stories”, but King is so much more than a horror writer and if you appreciate a fantastic story that’s beautifully written then I urge you to enter the world of the Dark Tower, I promise you won’t regret it.
I know I’ve enthused about the genius of Douglas Adams on many occasions, but this is simply because I cannot praise him enough.
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy books are without doubt some of the funniest I’ve ever read (even after reading them over a dozen times, they still make me laugh out loud) and the story of Arthur Dent and his adventures in Adams’ surreal universe are endlessly inventive and thought-provoking.
I couldn’t possibly talk about books without once again plugging the awesome Terry Pratchett and his hugely popular and influential Discworld™ series.
Terry has been compared to writers as diverse as P.G. Wodehouse and Jonathan Swift; his talent for taking everyday situations and familiar stereotypes and relocating them to his own version of the universe enables him to discuss important social issues and intellectual concepts in a way that is not only accessible but hilarious, with a wit and warmth that very few authors have ever achieved.
And finally, a series of which many of you may never have heard; G.W. Dahlquist’s Glass Books of the Dream Eaters trilogy.
“Steampunk” covers a wide range of styles, but I think the Glass Books series epitomizes the genre; a faux-Victorian setting, a rollicking adventure, dark humour, a creeping sense of dread, erotic undertones and mysteriously advanced technologies being put to sinister use, Dahlquist crams all this and more into his books, which follow three wildly differing protagonists who have to rely on each other to foil the dastardly plans of some truly despicable villains.
So there is my contribution to World Book Day, I hope you are sufficiently tempted by my choices that you go and seek out at least one of my recommendations. With nearly fifty titles to choose from, it should be a while before you need to top up your book pile.
To play us out, who else but Elvis Costello and the 1983 classic, Every Day I Write The Book.
Colan Dreeb lay on the new, non-regulation, divan bed in his cell, idly scrolling through the huge collection of murder-porn on his virtual reader unit.
He could hear the sound of his fellow prisoners being marched out into the force-shielded exercise area, from where they would have a 360° panoramic view of the endless, desolate and toxic surface of the planet on which the maximum security prison complex was located.
The designers of the facility had originally intended to make the dome-shaped shield completely opaque, given that there was literally nothing to see outside, apart from the occasional flashes of an electrical storm above the range of immense mountains that encircled the featureless plain where it stood. However, the company who ran the prison wanted the inmates to be able to see just how pointless an escape attempt would be, much like the infamous Alcatraz prison on late twentieth century…
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